Wednesday, October 20, 2004

strange dark thoughts

this morning, on my way to dropping the kids off to school, i was almost trapped by the track rails that fall when the train is coming. luckily, i reversed in time and put my car in park. and waited for the train to pass.
then i remember a few months ago, the same thing happened to me twice. once i just sat there, stuck between the barriers in my car.. i saw the train coming and realized what i was doing... then i floored it and broke the antenna with the barriers. and another time i reversed in time, like i mentioned above and put my car in park because i did not trust that i would not floor it into the train. Similar to that feeling you get when looking down from above and you want to jump, but you really don't.

i guess meds do work.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I went through a part of my life when I wasn't very happy and took antidepressants and had a therapist and even spent a month or so in a depression treatment center.
Some of it was maybe just the age I was at (16-20) and all of that emotionalness of 'coming of age'
Emotionally i guess life just got a lot easier and it took that edge off. The one med I thought helped me when my emotions were just overwelming me was valium. I could be way off base here but I think women live in an emotional ocean far deeper than men and that becuase of this are more likely to experience depression.

hey, i have no idea *statistically* if that's true or not but the upside is maybe you can experience that emotional connectedness more if you find someone you care about or your family

floatingwild said...

i was told it is genetic.. my whole family is crazy somehow... thanks for your comment

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