I don’t believe in consequences

Sunday, August 05, 2012

I feel too much
I say too much
I think too much
I want too much
I drink too much
I need too much
I sleep too much
I whine too much
I eat too much
I cry too much
I love too much
I'm never enough
I'm never right
I'm self entitled
I deserve what I get
I'm free to pretend like it's all I deserve
I'm sorry I feel..and I say...and I love.
I question out of turn.
Im sorry.
I'm living the life of an amputated turd.

I'm tired of waiting

Girls hate me

Because I 
Hate 
myself. 

Sleep now
while you can still wake up
To sunshine
And the smell of
Coffee and cigarettes

Sleep now
She said
To all who are tired.
Sleep while there's dreams left in that head of yours.

the party in my head

tell me something i don't know

something new and fluffy.

tell me something different and forgiving.

make me forget the quiet boredom, the silly loneliness

those moments i dream a scream inside my head..

let me know tomorrow will want me

But forget me, if only for today...
As today i will be a recluse

i will gloat and float and fear

until you tell me something i did not know

hope in a box

Those pills don't work
They make me sick
And do strange things:
Not feel a thing
Or give a fuck

That's not me.

It happens often.

I'll sink myself
Into the deep end
I'll float back up
To stare blindingly at the sun
And I'll find my way
Eventually

...and so i left her standing there in a puddle of pills

'nuff's said, i'm dead'

she said:

'more regret.. always fret.. and never ever forget'

but she forgot to mention that she had no intention of leaving 

or running 

or changing 

or staying."

" i'm looking for distractions

 i'm needing more attention than i deserve

i sleep all day 

and talk all night 

I'll drink and think 

until i die."

She told me she had forgotton who she was 

And what she's been 

and all that she had seen. 

"it all belonged to another time 

and another girl" 

she had lost or forgot it all.. she said

"but there is always music

laughter...love...

touch ... 

and wine to fill my soul

i have sadness caused by nothingness 

and i know i am and need so much more."

she bored me with her self importance 

So.. i left her there 

Talking to herself.

el sol no descuenta mi tristeza.

no affecta mi aburrimiento

pero igual lo extranio- como uno extrania lo lejano

intocable, inseguro, me abandona

a veses por dias.

a veses por momentos

pero siempre por la noche cuando mas me siento sola.

universo comienza y termina con dos bebidas

dos bebidas mescladas con temor

no sirven pa'nada

solo causan dolor.

y el dia siguiente uno siente horor

y pide perdon a su gente y a su Dios

pero nadie lo escucha y se aduenian del dolor

todos somos victimas del aburrimiento

por causa de las dos bebidas tomadas con temor.

HUMOR ME

mission: self destruction. can't be done. won't be done. must get well.feel like hell.