hi!!

miedosa
ohhh- i am sooo busy-- i can't do much of this stuff here... so you will all have to wait for the boring details.-- i am having fun, though...

off to my new job i go!!

i am so very happy. see you all later!

rita la bonita

rita la bonita
Originally uploaded by quki.

translation for fistingchamp

I am afraid. The afternoon is dark and the sadness of the sky is open and obvious, like a mouth of a deceased man.
My heart cries out like a princess lost in the bowels of a deserted palace.



I am afraid. And I am so sad and unimportant that I reflect upon the afternoon without meditating upon it.
(In my sick head, a dream does not fit, just as a star has never fit in the sky.)



However, in my eyes, a question exists, and there is a cry in my mouth that I dare not release.
No ear exists on earth that would hear my sad cry, a cry which has been abandoned in the midst of an infinite land.



The universe dies, of an agonized calm, without the celebration of the sun, or the unripened sunset.
Saturn suffers like my troubled soul,

the Earth is like a black fruit that the heavens devour.



And through the vast emptiness pass the clouds of the evening, blindly, like lost ships, which hide defunct stars in their holds.



And death of the world encompasses my being.




miedosa

plagiarism of the month

neruda wouldn't mind~matilde
Tengo miedo

Tengo miedo. La tarde es gris y la tristeza
del cielo se abre como una boca de muerto.
Tiene mi corazòn un llanto de princesa
olvidada en el fondo de un palacio desierto.

Tengo miedo. Y me siento tan cansado y pequeño
que reflejo la tarde sin meditar en ella.
(En mi cabeza enferma no ha de caber un sueño
así como en el cielo no ha cabido una estrella.)

Sin embargo en mis ojos una pregunta existe
y hay un grito en mi boca que mi boca no grita.
No hay oído en la tierra que oiga mi queja triste
abandonada en medio de la tierra infinita!

Se muere el universo, de una calma agonía
sin la fiesta del sol o el crepúsculo verde.
Agoniza Saturno como una pena mía,
la tierra es una fruta negra que el cielo muerde.

Y por la vastedad del vacío van ciegas
las nubes de la tarde, como barcas perdidas
que escondieran estrellas rotas en sus bodegas.

Y la muerte del mundo cae sobre mi vida.

can you see any hidden pictures??

let me know- cause i don't see shit.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/hiddenimages.html
miedosa

Being in love is the most fucked up condition.

Let me begin my ramblings about love with the statement above. I have decided that astrology and fate are trying to hurt me and that I will no longer subscribe to such a belief. It is a crutch- a way not to take responsibility of making decisions. (I keep them in my back pocket as reference, of course). The older I get, the more cautious I get. The pain of a badly swallowed pill is suffocating me; putting self-induced pressures in my head. Restlessness develops and I cannot find comfort anywhere/anyone. I fear that I will never find comfort in anyone or anyplace desired. Zoloft makes my tongue bleed a metallic taste when I am about to panic, nervous, or having an orgasm. It is annoying and I am tired of this fucking taste in my mouth. I am in need for overdue penitence. We both are.

miedosa

miedosa

Thanks for tagging me abitwicked!! ~

abitwicked

What follows is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you).

Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.

Here's that list:
If I could be a scientist... If I could be a farmer...If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...If I could be a painter... If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary... If I could be a chef...If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...If I could be a psychologist... If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete... If I could be a lawyer...If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...If I could be a writer... If I could be a backup dancer...
If I could be a llama-rider... If I could be a bonnie pirate...If I could be a midget stripper...
If I could be a proctologist...If I could be a TV-Chat Show host... If I could be an actor...
If I could be a judge... If I could be a Jedi...If I could be a mob boss...
If I could be a backup singer .....If I could be a CEO... If I could be a movie reviewer ....
If I could be a candy striper... If I could taste test chocolate...
If I could be a rich house wife… if I could be a truck driver… if I could be a madam/pimp

I chose these:
...If I could be a farmer- my family would starve. My fields would be barren and dry, my animals would run away. I would try to do better, but fail.

... If I could be a gardener- I would ride around in an old chevy truck with lots of garden tools and plant perinials with spots of color, lambs ear, ornamental grass, and herbs. My hands would be calloused and dry because I hate to wear gloves. I would be tanned and wear next to nothing because I hate tan lines. I would be very happy.

...If I could be a musician- I would want to be a sexy girl musician – with long hair, excellent fashion sense and a good make-up artist. But in reality, I would be a folk singer in denim & peruvian socks- with an accoustic guitar and a very shiny strap. I would sing about death and misery and die of a drug overdose.

...If I could be an innkeeper- I would buy an old house in the mountains and modernize it. I would never have a day off- nor would i need one. I would have an outdoor beer garden a chef and two maids. I would have seasonal gardens and be open year round. My room would have a view and a fireplace. I would smile alot and long for the ocean.

...If I could be a psychologist- I would self diagnose and go crazy. I would be a neurotic pill popper. I would develop unheard of phobias. I would choose to treat eating disorders in young women before it became too late. I would choose to treat schizophrenia in all-- and abused children---and become heartbroken when I would realize I cannot fix anyone. I would change careers quickly.

i tag you three:
spudmonkey,
bustywilde ,
Roy
... (one more- mi pelotudo @ Que buscas?)
miedosa

here we go-

I hated that my ex made endless amounts of lists. I really don’t consider him a person that accomplished much- though he felt he probably did just by making the damn lists. I keep finding pieces of his lists- in notebooks he left behind, written on the garage wall, in boxes – none of those things were completed.
So now I think I will try to make a list- a list of things that would make me feel better now- so that I can feel like I have accomplished something.
Here it goes:
1. pack up all my important shit and throw the rest out and move in with ryan
2. get that job I interviewed for yesterday
3. file for divorce
4. change d’s school- figure out what I am going to do with j during the summer
5. figure out how much I owe to get out of the hole
There, that wasn’t so hard. It doesn’t feel complete, though.

miedosa

bite son's butt

colorado river may 2005 046
Originally uploaded by quki.

i am concerned that this is the most viewed picture on my flickr photo site.

colorado river may 2005 093

colorado river may 2005 093
Originally uploaded by quki.

i went camping

in arizona at the colorado river. i love camping.i can't wait to do it again.
miedosa

colorado river may 2005 016

colorado river may 2005 016
Originally uploaded by quki.

miedosa

miedosa

looking for my transcripts i found this --->

paper i wrote for an architecture assignment... i was, unlike me, pleasantly pleased...

Rows of red flinching lights filled my eye as far as i could recognize. I was moving slowly to a hidden destination. I wanted to get out and run but i knew that i could not escape safely. I was overcome by planes and forms which geometry had no names for. An occasional blip of color or separation of form would appear to distract me, but it had no lasting significance. The claustrophobia of my space, separation from others like me and the choking stagnant fumes were the foundation of my anxiety and it immediately began to increase while i remained motionless. A small break in the cluster would appear, i would try to squeeze in but another agonizing soul was quicker than i and so i would have to wait for my turn again to try to escape as quickly as luck would let me.
By this point i had become tormented by my transportable space. The plastic covering the dash was covered in sticky dust and that made me feel dirty, and with every abrupt stop i would see articles i thought were lost come rolling out from under me. i prayed my car would not overheat, or run out of gas. the dials and meters were not moving. i was afraid to look at them because i knew that i was going nowhere, and all i had to keep me sane was my unwillingness to believe the present frustration.
In my mind i would try to figure out where i went wrong: i should have done this,... went there, ... waited till later, ...etc. But i knew that this route was the only way




miedosa

do you Yahoo?

miedosa
well i do, now! but i have no one to try it out with. and honestly, talking to myself is boring. i didn't know i could be so naggy.

quki_miedosa@yahoo.com


if you have a moment- check out

underhill

latest blog on bad gifts.

i love msn messenger...

miedosa
i love it, i love it. i love flirting with my boyfriend and bugging my brother at work.. i love that i can communicate with my dad from half-a-world away. i like to bullshit with my friends that i talk to daily. it is so stolid and fun. i like the sound it makes when someone is trying to contact me.. i like sending picture files and playing games. it is another necessity i have gained.

Lucidity

miedosa
My days seem to drift by exhaustingly:
Twenty minutes of absolute stupidity, interrupted by thirty-two seconds of guilt, controlled by one hour of gluttony. I seek Twelve minutes of divination, followed by days of remorse. I distract myself with endings and resolutions and decide that I must continue in uncertainty. I invite three hours of criticism that is followed by two hours of blame. I devour fifty-five minutes of sadness and replace it with fear. I savor the joy around me and laugh when least expected. I perform routine duties and invent plans that take fifteen minutes to demolish. I bask in self-defeat and struggle to reclaim control when held down. I consistently am consumed with love and the acceptance of its being. I am devout for three minutes and slowly begin to appreciate my existence.