so, today i decide to change for the better

no alcohol, no non-prescribed drugs. i started zoloft 25mgs. every morning, valium 10mgs limited to 3 days a week. i gave in today. i only get 30 ,Dr. said she would not refill. by then i hope the zoloft has kicked in. and ambien at night with benadryl if i cannot sleep.

i felt horrible today. i felt anxious, board, sleepy, hungry and then too full. i couldn't breath deep enough. i wanted to escape so badly.

i don't miss the beer too much. i wasn't enjoying it that much anyway. i slept well for the first time in weeks last night. so well that i didn't want to wake.

i will break myself easily into this transition... still and clearly, i would love a morphine escape. wishing for a tooth ache.............